Catatonia is not a Eastern European Country

In the midst of all the gimmicks and ridiculous rah-rah Spirit Club Drill Team Cheer Squad bullshit that the administration at my Institution of Higher Learning wants me to shovel down the throats of my students, I sometimes actually get to teach.  Sure the pom-poms get in the way and I haven’t perfected my back handspring, but I love teaching. It’s the only job I’ve ever had that has me looking forward to every day. Well, except for one summer when I worked at a video store.  The Pizza Hut across the parking lot was undergoing extensive renovations and the summer sun glistening off the sweat-slicked abs of the construction workers was enough to make the daylight shunning goth chick I worked with fight for the afternoon shift.  I’m not sure if she was motivated by lust or the fact that all the heavy lifting they were doing made blood pump through their carotid arteries like a vampire’s wet dream.  Yes, we had binoculars.  Yes, we used them.  Ahhh… summer….

What was I saying?  Oh, yeah something about loving to teach. Anyway, although I taught class this summer I didn’t have anything to write about because, except for two plagiarists (I’m resigned to the fact there’s going to be at least one fucker every semester who wants to play chicken with me and Mr. Google), they were awesome.  Truly something to cheer about.  Give me an “A”!  Give me a “W”! Give me the rest of the word without having to spell it out!  I could write odes to this summer class; their hard work, curiosity, vision, and drive to succeed is every teacher’s dream. In fact, only three weeks into the Fall semester, I’m beginning to wonder if the summer class was just that, a dream.  I know I’ve lamented the apathy of the younger generation before.  I didn’t think there was anything worse than apathy.  That, dear Innernetz, is incorrect.  You know what is worse than apathy?  Catatonia.

Catatonia is worse than apathy.  While the Head Honchos want to me to get the students fired up about inconsequential matters – anyone care for a I Heart NY pin? – I’m trying to get them interested in ANYTHING beyond their tiny little spheres of existence.  There’s a whole world outside their 18-year old, two and a half pound brains and I want them to grab it by the balls and make it scream!  But you know why they don’t?  You know why they say they are not going to vote, that they can’t be bothered to learn about the issues that affect them, that they don’t get involved in their communities, that they don’t protest against injustice and social inequality?  Because they don’t believe that one person can make a difference.

WTF?

I asked them if any of them had ever heard of the Unknown Rebel at Tiananmen Square.  Blank stares.  I refused to admit defeat at the hands of ignorance.  “On June 5, 1989, over a million students, teachers, and workers, ” I started in a low quiet voice.  I wanted them to have to lean forward to listen.  I wanted to have their undivided attention.  And I did.  By the time I was impersonating both the Unknown Rebel ("and he stood bravely in the face of certain death") and the tank drivers ("and they moved to the right but the rebel blocked their path") my shirt was untucked, my shoes were off and I was gesticulating wildy.  After my triumphant finish with a flourishing, “AND THE TANKS TURNED AROUND!” The room was silent.

A lone hand at the back of the class was raised. “Yes?” I responded secure in the knowledge that I had made my point.  “Did it change anything?” It was my turn to be silent.  I thought about it for a minute.  I thought about how sometimes big changes come about in small increments.

“We don’t know yet.”

Class dismissed.

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Update to the Naked MILF Sweepstakes:

Thanks, Innernetz!  Crissy has made it to the first page of the Hottest Mommy Blogger Page!  We only have a few hundred votes to go before Crissy has to post her ta-tas on her site wins wins and has to post her ta-tas on her site!  If you haven’t taken a look at the bribe Stoogepie has offered as incentive to vote,you are missing out on a fantastic opportunity to win:

Sony DSC-T300 Cyber-shot® 10-Megapixel Digital Camera - Silver — list price $499.99
Sony LCS-THM/B Genuine Black Leather Case — list price $49.99
Sandisk 4GB Memory Stick Pro Duo — list price $39.99. 
Photoshop CS3

Wait! Photoshop wasn’t included in your earlier post about this contest, you say.  Right-o, my observant Innernetz.  I talked to Stoogepie about his lame assed prize package and said that a REAL prize package would also include Photoshop CS3 because that’s what I would want to win.  Somehow, Stoogepie absconded with the goods found one lying around unopened and unused at work and is throwing that into the mix as well.  Yes, you can win a camera, a carrying case, a memory stick, AND Photoshop CS3.  All that, for the person whose vote is chosen at random by Stoogepie after the contest ends on or around October 16, 2008. 

But that’s not all….oh, no, my pretties.  Stoogepie is also offering a prize for the BLOGGER who pimps this contest and whose reader is the lucky bastard who claims the prizes listed above.  You know what the pimp gets?  Guess.  No, really.  Guess!  Okay, I’ll tell you.  The BLOGGER who pimps the contest and whose reader wins the camera/Photoshop package wins:

Sony HDRTG1 Handycam – list price $899.00.

That is just too fucking cool.  I want it Innernetz.  I want it bad.  So go vote.  Because you are not apathetic or catatonic.  Your vote can make the difference.  Your vote can make Dingo oh so happy.  And isn’t that what life is really all about?

Go see Stoogepie’s post for all the details.

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