Thanksgiving in December

Santa’s going to bring me a big lump of coal this year.  A big ol’ lump of coal.  In order to prevent the West Virginia coal miners from having to work overtime this week to bring me my holiday bounty, I’m making good on a promise.  I’m finally getting around to thanking everyone for the awards I’ve received over the past few months.  No, there’s no awards page yet – geez, Innernetz, if I actually thanked everyone and finally put up an awards page, I would be perfect, and you would hate me.  No one likes a perfect girl with an awards page, great tits, and too-white teeth.  Just ask all the Beyoncé haters out there.  Have any of you invited Beyoncé to your holiday parties?  No?  It’s because she has perfect tits, perfect hair, and too-white teeth, right?  Haters.

Way back when the sun used to shine and we all bitched about the heat, Jen at a2eatwrite honored me with the You Make My Day Award. Jen is an excellent cook.  I am glad that I make her day but I would be happier if she’d stop on by and make my dinner.  The recipes she posts look delicious but oh, so hard.  She uses words like “bake” and “pre-heat” as if I’m supposed to know what the hell that means.  I like this award but I think that in passing it on, I’m going to modify it somewhat into the Go Ahead and Make My Day Award.  Oh, come on, you can’t tell me that all this holiday stuff is filling you with peace, love, and good will toward the impending family debacle that is coming your way.  I am passing this award on to Coconut Diaries because I’m sure she has said this to some of the juvenile delinquents students she advises.  She’s in Texas after all, and you just know she’s packin’ heat.

Hotfessional was kind enough to crown me with the Tiara Wearing Blogger Award.  While I appreciate the sentiment, there aren’t enough bobby pins in the world to keep a tiara on my head.  I’d end up looking like Pinhead from the Hellraiser series.  But the fact that she recognized my regalness in spite of the frizzy corona I call hair is greatly appreciated.  I’m passing this award on to Kelley at Magneto Bold Too because not only does she appreciate bling but I am sure that she has the perfect pair of shoes to wear with this stunning head gear.

Marjolein at Wont Let Life Define Me gave me the Arte y Pico Award.  Depending on what translation software you use it could mean, “The Best Art” or “Damn, this salsa is kickin’!” I’m going to go with the art thing.  There’s no question about it, this award goes to Stoogepie.  His comics are outstanding and his social and political satire is not for the faint of heart.  I’m passing this on to him knowing full well that under his care this poor winged lady will end up half-naked and dancing on a stripper pole. 

The next award was the Butterfly Award for the Coolest Blog I Know from Tara at If Mom Says Okay. It’s no coincidence that her avatar is Scarlett O’Hara.  Tara is every inch a lady but she’s also a steel magnolia.  No, not the wussy Julia Roberts and Sally Field kind.  Tara is the don’t-fuck-with-me-or-mine-unless-you-want-me-to-tear-your-spleen-out-through-your-nasal-cavity kind.  And then she’ll make a dress from the living room curtains to wear to your funeral.  In other words, she’s my kind a gal!  I have to pass this award onto Lesley at JustRunJustLiveJustBe because when I thought I couldn’t run anymore, she helped me fly — or at least continue at a slow trot.  She’s got a lot going on in her head and in her life right now and I hope she is getting the same encouragement and support that she gave me. 

Finally, we come to Melinda Zook at Zook Light who gave me the Sparky Blogger Award for sparking creativity, conversation, controversy, and friendship.  This was the hardest award to bestow because I think all the blogs I read fit this category or else I wouldn’t read them — Duh!  So, I’m going to give this to award to Flurrious because her comment responses are just as funny as her posts and I think it would be fun to call her Sparky, Kori at See Kori Rant because she’s amazing in so many ways, and Mrs. Chili at A Teacher’s Education because her creativity and dedication to education make her an excellent teacher.  Mrs. Chili’s compassion and passion for social justice gets me riled up and moved to action and she doesn’t correct my grammar and punctuation when I leave long, rambling comments at 4am.

Whew!  That was hard.  I don’t like to single out blogs for awards because I love each of the blogs I read.  I also have flashbacks to high school when awards were given out and I didn’t get one.  I mean, I got awards but who really wants Most Likely to Succeed when Most Likely to Sleep Her Way to the Top and Perfect Attendance at All Keg Parties were on the table?  At least as an adult I’m faring much better.  BrazenBareToe hosted a contest and I won!  Well, I won third place but I got cool stuff.  I got a pair of warm wool socks (I’m wearing them right now!), a cute pair of black and white stripped toe socks (you know, the kind that fit like gloves but for your feet), candles, bubble bath, chocolate covered pecans, and a reusable nylon grocery bag (now I can look like all the other hipsters when I shop for veggies that will rot in my fridge).  I also got a spork. Yes, a spork. Don’t laugh.  You know you wish you had one too.

And because I’m also a giver and not only a taker, I’m having a giveaway.  I know, it’s too late for you to receive these and re-gift them but I wouldn’t be Dingo if I weren’t always one step behind.  Anyway, I’m all about being creative and changing the world in the process (and really, aren’t we all?  Isn’t that why we blog, even if to only change our small portion of the world?). I have copies of The Guerrilla Art Kit and Living Out Loud:  Activities to Fuel a Creative Life to give away.  Don’t be freaked out by the words “art” and “creative.” I mean, it’s not like I said “bake” and “pre-heat.” The activities in these books are fun and so easy even Picasso could do them!  I actually want to keep these books myself but I’m feeling bad because I already ate the Gourmet Garbage that I was going to give away.  I ate it right out of the jar.  It was yummy. 

Since this post is all about bloggers and blogging, to be entered into the drawing for these books leave a comment linking to one of your favorite posts that you’vewritten.  I will send one book to each winner.  The contest runs until December 29th.  I’ll announce the winners on December 30th.  So, get going!  Linky-linky!

Update because I’m a Moron:  The contest ends December 29th NOT January 29th.  I’ll announce the winners on December 30th.  I’ve corrected the dates in the post above.  So, you have less time than you thought to win the coveted books.  Get to linking!

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