I Am?! I Am the Dog?!
Dingo Girl and I got back from Mom’s late this afternoon. I meant to blog more while I was there but Mom was a slave driver kept me busy. After this week, between yard work and paper work, I don’t think there isn’t a hedge trimmer I can’t master or a printer I can’t configure. Dingo Girl did a lot of work too! There were squirrels to chase, sticks to fetch, naps to take, and bellies to be rubbed. Now I understand that age-old dog lament: “Rough!”
It wasn’t all work, though. We made several trips to mecca Target. There is no Target in New York City, but I heart Target. I understand why all the zombies head to malls in the George Romero movies. I know that, when I come back as a zombie, I’m going to Target! Some people find peace and contentment in church and religious worship. Target is my church. The big red Bulls Eye is, to me, more beautiful than stained glass. When the sliding doors part with their reverent “shuuuush” and bid me enter the over air-conditioned sanctuary, I am at peace. I am at one with commerce.
Really, what does religion have that Target doesn’t? Need peace of mind? Head to the pharmacy for some Valium and Ativan. Need cleansing? Soap is in aisle six. Food for the soul? Can’t see your way in this world? There’s a Starbucks and optical center. If you are one of the fortunate few who lives near a Target Greatland, send me your address. I’m coming for a visit.
Returning home proved to be the only downside of our pilgrimages to the holy city. Odd Boy always awaited us as we pulled into the driveway. Determined that my dedication to Animal Planet would do me some good, I advised Mom to just sit still. “He can’t see you unless you move and his memories are only two minutes long. He’ll go away. Just. Don’t. Breathe.” It never worked. Mom would get blue in the face and I would start blacking out just as Odd Boy tapped on the car window, “Is there a dog in there?”
The last time I saw Odd Boy, he was particularly brilliant. As Dingo Girl circled the bags to see what we had brought her (Woofhoo! Target has doggie toys!), Odd Boy came up with this astute observation:
Odd Boy: Did you ever notice how owners look like their dogs?
Me: Are you saying that I look like a dog?
Odd Boy: I’m just saying that dogs and their owners look alike.
Me: Exactly what about me looks like a dog?
Odd Boy: People go into the pet store, they see a dog that looks like them and they say, ‘That’s the dog I want. It looks like me.’
Now I happen to think that Dingo Girl is the cutest thing evah but I don’t think that is what he was getting at.
Once we got inside, I pulled up some pictures from last summer on my laptop. It was Dingo Girl’s first trip to the beach.
Here’s me:
Here’s Dingo Girl:
I don’t see a resemblance at all. Do you? No, Odd Boy is just odd.
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 10:37 AM.
Tags: Dingo Girl, La Vida Loca
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Comments & Trackbacks
Dearest. There is a Target in Queens, Brooklyn, and two stops north of me. I know *you* don’t consider those place New York City, but we should go one day for the fun. I, too, worship at the altar of the Bulls Eye.
Bronx — *gasp* *splutter* But...but...how to you get all your loot home? The Bronx? Do I need a passport?
I just don’t see the resemblance at ALL. Odd Boy IS odd.
I’m thinking that Target in the US is better than Target here. It’s a bit crap in Australia.
Ree — Dingo Girl didn’t think much of him either. He kept trying to pet her and she kept moving away.
Lala — I’m so glad you are back to blogging. And visiting my blog. Target in Australia sucks?! Oh no!! I had soo wanted to visit Australia but I may have to rethink my travel plans now.
I’m going to miss Odd Boy! Can your mom send updates? Does Odd Boy have a blog?
Way back when I first moved to this country, I entered my first Target in WA state and gawked and gawped and generally LOVED EVERY SECOND of outfitting my friend’s ENTIRE apartment. AZ had me living within 5 minutes of one (where my then 2 year old Boo nicked a rubber ducky) (which I brought back) and now I am within 20 minutes up here in the NE. I cannot seem to leave the place with less than 100 bucks spent, but whatever.
Lookin’ good at the beach!
sunny — If Odd Boy has a blog, I’m sure it’s called, Is That Your Dog?
O’Mama — I always go in for just one or two things and come out with a cart full of things that I ‘just had to have.’
Heh, I should really come back as a well-loved dog. Sounds like a nice life.
*snicker* I do live near a Target Greatland. But have you ever seen one of those Wal-Mart Superstores? Geez…
Odd Boy is going to someday grow up to be Odd Man. That frightens me, just a bit.
Nope, no resemblance at all. Dat kid is weird.
I, too, *heart* Target (or, as we say around here, “Tar-chez.” I’m not really sure WHAT makes me love it so, though - I never buy ANY clothes for myself there, but I get good little girl clothes, they’re always great for party favors (LOVE the dollar aisle!) and Choxie chocolate - what else can I say?
That boy’s social skills leave much to be desired. Clearly those photos are NOTHING alike.
I may be the only person in the world who doesn’t love Tar-zhay. I fear hauling bags of things I don’t need but have to have up five flights of stairs, and I am terrified of the concussion I’d undoubtedly incur when the stuff fell out of the closets.
GeekHiker — You live in Southern California, you are athletic and outdoorsy, and most importantly, you live near a Target Greatland. How is it that you are still single?!
Mrs. Chili — Choxie chocolate? How have I missed this gift from the gods?! I must return to Target immediately!
Marian — That’s the beauty of Tar-zhay Beau-t-que! Closet organizers!! And, if Bronx is correct and not just playing a cruel joke on his dear ol’ friend, you know that any Tar-zhay in the five boroughs will deliver.
I’m sorry to tell you that I live within 10 minutes of two Target stores and there’s a third 15 minutes away. I am so sorry to hear about your Targetlessness.
I couldn’t live without it.
And, I thought you said you’d never post a picture of yourself on the blog?
Now everyone knows who you are and that you don’t shave before you go to the beach.
Way to go.
Target is super. It doesn’t even need the “super” in it’s title, that is just UNDERSTOOD.
I look nothing like my dog, but we do both like ice cream.
i can’t believe you dissed the other boroughs like that - i go to the target in queens once in a while - LOVE IT.
oh yeah, you should seriously teach a photoshop course.
Crissy — I find that not shaving is the most effective sunscreen there is. As you can see, my hair is virtually impenetrable.
justrun — I know! Target does not need a superlative. It. Just. Is. Do you let your dog lick your ice cream cone? I tried sharing with Dingo Girl once. She ate the whole thing in one bite. Now, she just gets her own.
blakspring — If I taught a photoshop course all my students would come away knowing a lot more profanity than they ever thought possible. I’m constantly cursing at my screen when I can’t get the photo to do what I want it to.
A friend of mine calls Target the Red Circle Boutique. I work about a block away from a Greatland and I seem to find a reason to go there about once a week, then when I’m combing the aisles, I find about 10 other reasons…
I love your and Dingo Girl’s matching towels. Tres chic!
Mel Heth — Lurve their towels and housewares! So, when I come visit, we’ll go to Target Greatland, right?
Did no one get the movie reference in the title of the post? Really? I’m shocked.
You’re funny. I’d have to say you and your dog do bear quite a resemblance!
Target’s a nice place, for sure. 
The title of the post is from When Harry Met Sally, right? I did notice it - but didn’t acknowledge because the post was so dang funny I’d wanted to talk about it instead.
And yes, when you come out here to run a half marathon with me, we’re totally going to Target afterwards to celebrate. 
Zandria — Thanks for stopping by! It’s the eyes, right? Everyone says our eyes are similar. We’re always begging to be fed.
Mel Heth — Yes! When Harry Met Sally!! Love that movie! I can quote it from opening credits through the end. If I had a prize to give, you’d get it.
If the marathon training and the marathon doesn’t kill me, I would love to travel to races. Right now, it’s sometimes tough enough just to get to the park for a run.
Target is my second home. Heart!
I don’t see a resemblance at all! Target is much better than Wally World.
NPW — You are a woman of style and substance. So many people have second homes in the Hamptons or in the mountains, but you, you my bloggy friend, have risen above the pack.
Tara R — Wally World...pfffftttt! And that’s all I have to say about that.
We have a “Super Target” and a regular Target… But what is this Target Greatland of which you speak? Is it the same as a Super Target? I must know ASAP. If I am missing out on some new form of Target shopping, a road trip will be in order this weekend.
JR — I just looked up the difference and now I’m on a mission to find a Super Target. Target Greatland is between a regular Target and a Super Target. I love Wikipedia.