If You Want This World To See A Better Day
Helloooo! Is anybody out there? I wouldn’t blame you if you had abandoned me. This place has been filled with dust bunnies and cobwebs of late. But I’m back, Innernetz! My thesis is done! My thesis is done! After my third and final reader signed the This Is The Best Damn Thing I’ve Ever Read form, I called Mr. Dingo with the joyous news and then promptly came home and took a seven hour nap.
I am now free to get into the Christmas spirit. And so are you — although some of you have gone ahead and done so without me. Didn’t we already talk about this? Innernetz, you are supposed to put your lives on hold until I can catch up. But I will forgive you, Innernetz, because I love you. And it’s Christmas. Christmas is all about forgiveness. And presents. I noticed that on my birthday, in spite of my expectations for a mailbox overflowing with birthday bounty, it was remarkably empty. I don’t blame YOU, Innernetz, I blame my lazy, thieving postman. I know he stole all your wonderful gifts. But this is Christmas, so, bygones.
Mr. Dingo gave me an early Christmas present this year and it really put me in the holiday spirit. He took me to see a folk music concert. I first fell in love with folk music during my freshman year of college. To be more specific, it was during Christmas break of my freshman year. You see, I wasn’t always the sharp, with it woman with terrific rain boots that you know today. In fact, back then you could say that I fell off the turnip truck. Daily. So when I misread the dates for Christmas break I found myself back at school a week earlier than everyone else.
The dorm was desolate. Well, not completely desolate. There were the girls who always dressed as if they were going to the Renaissance Festival; complete with long flowing velvet gowns and May pole ribbons in their hair. I don’t know why they were back early. The family must’ve run out of mutton or something. Oh, there were also the vampire chicks. Yeah, sorry iGeneration, you did not invent the fascination with tall, gaunt men with a thirst for blood. The vampire chicks on campus slept all day, took night classes, dressed in black and listened to The Cure non-stop. That they did not volunteer to help with the yearly blood drive had me doubting their commitment to their dark lord.
One of my good college friends, Kate, found out about my predicament and saved me from being challenged to a joust or joining the ranks of the not-really-very-dead by whisking me away to her family’s beautiful farm outside of Fort Worth. The food was incredible. I swear I put on the Freshman Fifteen during that one week. The music, however, was the real feast. Joan Baez, Simon & Garfunkel, The Mamas and the Papas, you name it, they had it. On LPs. And although my transformation from fundamentalist to feminist and political activist didn’t take place until many, many years later, the seeds were planted.
These are the same seeds I’m attempting to plant in the embryonic brain cells of my students. On one of my mid-semester evaluations, a male student complained that I was a feminist. Oh, wait, what he actually wrote was, “FEMINIST.” And underlined it. Three times. Although it was meant as a rebuke, I took it as a compliment. I think he was upset because I called him out for saying that women who wore mini-skirts and tank tops “deserved what they got.” He was also a little bent out of shape when, in response to one of my questions he stated, with no irony or awareness that he is a misogynistic jerk, “Because I’m a real man!” I fired back with, “Real men are not afraid of confident women.” Maybe I should put that on a t-shirt.
Don’t even get me started on his views about minorities, gays, lesbians, immigrants, etc. It really amazes me that in 2008, his views seem to be the norm among my freshmen students. I have been surprised by their ultra-conservative viewpoints. It’s as if they’ve been raised sucking at the over-inflated ego and rancorous tit of Rush Limbaugh. I’ve had female students tell me that a woman could not be president because she’s, well, a woman. In another class, I pointed out that men also face discrimination, particularly when it comes to childcare issues and paternity leave. My class thought this was hilarious! Why in the world would a man want to take time off to spend with his newborn? That’s the wife’s job! Most of them thought it was disgusting to even consider that a gay couple would adopt a child much less have issues in the workplace regarding time off to care for that child. Sometimes I want to beat my head against a wall. Most of the time I want to beat their heads against a wall. Repeatedly.
I think, however, it would be best to send them to Kate’s for re-education. They will come back too stuffed on good ol’ Southern cookin’ to hate anyone except the person who ate the last piece of pecan (pronounced peh-cahn NOT pee-can!) pie. And maybe listening to music from people passionate about equality and peace will reach some primordial part of their brain.
Well, this post ended up miles from where I intended. I wanted to tell you about the man at the concert who kept giving us the Stink-Eye until the usher made him leave. I also wanted to tell you how incredible the concert was. We sang, we drank champagne, we sang louder. My musical tastes now lean more toward the likes of Feist, Brandi Carlile, Vienna Teng, Rob Thomas, Maroon 5, and Gavin Degraw (Innernetz, are you taking notes?) but there’s a special place in my iPod for folk music.
Classes end next week. I’m preparing the final exams this weekend. Maybe I should ask them only one question. A question Yusuf Isalm (formerly known as Cat Stevens) asked back in 1974: Oh very young, what will you leave us this time? Then again, he’s a Muslim. And I’m pretty sure I know what they’d have to say about that.
Posted on Friday, December 12, 2008 at 08:10 AM.
Tags: In The Neighborhood, Blogging, La Vida Loca, Little Red Schoolhouse
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Comments & Trackbacks
Congrats, congrats, and more congrats!
And I vehemently applaud and support your efforts to open up the minds of those wretched students!!
Congrats on the thesis!!! I’ll be spending all weekend behind the computer trying to write another paper… and another.. so that I can start writing my thesis properly in January.
As for your students, I’d say open those minds, and never mind if their brains fall out, it doesn’t sound like too great a loss anyway.
Woohoo, look at you!! That is so wonderful-- congratulations!!
Now, we must plan some post-thesis type celebrating. Seriously, I will show up. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. And it will be great. The more people I can gather in my life that have legitimate letters behind their name the better.
Also, maybe you should make me a mixed tape of all that super cool folk music. I’m somewhat clueless but very intrigued.
You know, Brad would never EVER admit it but he’s a feminist. He thinks highly of men who SAH while their wives work, and wouldn’t mind doing it himself. He can also cook and sew, and believes he’s more of a man for it. I think this is in part because his mom was the breadwinner and his dad, even though he had a ph.d, was an alcoholic wastrel who sat around watching TV all day.
Oh Dingo. Two things.
As a long-time NC resident, I have to tell you that pecan pie is pronounced PEE-can pie. I’m sorry, I don’t like it either. But if you try to serve somebody pe-CAHN pie in NC you’ll get slapped for being uppity. Butter pe-CAHN ice cream is a different matter.
Secondly...Gavin Degraw? Really?
P.S. I am way jealous of your dinner w/the Crissys and Chris and Ari. I tried to make Dex and Ernie pretend to be various blog personalities, but they suck at make believe. Also they eat with their elbows on the table ALL THE TIME which makes it hard to imagine I am at a grown-up dinner.
Reagan — Hi! I don’t mind being called a feminist. I wear that badge proudly. But it saddens me that anytime I urge my students to treat others with compassion, justice, and dignity, it’s called “feminism” as if it’s something terrible. What gives?
Marjolein — You’ll get there! You are working so hard. And brains on the floor? Yeah, it would be the girls’ job to clean it up, I’m sure.
justrun — If I can get my ass in gear, we can run together and then drink together. I’ll make you a mix tape over the break.
Memarie Lane — Yeah, Brad! Tell him that he can get a button that says, “This is what a feminist looks like.” I’m sure he’ll wear it with pride.
saratogajean — Pee-can/Peh-cahn, slap some ice cream on that bitch and it’s alllll goooood! And what’s wrong with Gavin Degraw? Would you be jealous to know that he was also at dinner with the Crissys, Chris, and Ari? He wasn’t, but you’d still be jealous, wouldn’t you?
Yay! Congratulations!! Yes, my pres to you definitely got stolen by the postman. That’s your story and I’m sticking to it.
I could not do what you do every day, but I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you do it.
CONGRATS Little Miss Smartypants! You will need to visit Austin in order to collect your cash and prizes.
Oh, your students kill me. But we have to be nice to them because they’re paying for our social security.
the new wave of conservatives is scary. i don’t know where they hatched from, but it sure does feel like a step backwards.
welcome back..there is life after studying then
I was SOOOO missing finishing graduate school until I started reading your blog. It’s your fault I no longer reach for higher education.
Just kidding. Someday I’ll finish it. Congratulations!
There’s a strong right wing conservative movement in young people today. I’m not sure where it stems from. I worked with kids from 1995-2006 and there was always a liberal bent to them that I appreciated and encouraged. This is an interesting twist.
Yay on being done with your thesis!
April — I’m going to have to keep a closer eye on that postman! April, you are doing such a great job with your girls. Their sense of civic responsibility and justice is just amazing. Good job, woman!
thecoconutdiaries — When I visit Austin I want some peh-cahn pie!
keng — It feels like two Doc Martin step backwards! How did this happen?
rosie — Yes, there is life after studying. I’m slowly rejoining the ranks of society.
k8 — You will finish it someday and you will have me in your corner rooting you on when everyone else doesn’t know why you are bitching and moaning so much about a stupid paper.
stealthnerd — Thanks!
Congrats on being done with your thesis!
I remember being shocked by other students when I was doing my undergrad. I specifically remember a discussion about feminists and they all thought it was an insult to call somebody one and I was sooo confused - to me feminist just meant you believed in equal rights. Man, people can be very stupid.
First: Congratulations on your thesis. Finally you get to just sit on your ass for a couple days and pretend you haven’t a care in the world. Like my mixture of language there?
Second: One name. Greg Laswell. Look him up. He’s great. You’ll love him. He’s from here in San Diego. I’m not biased I swear. Apparently he’s dating Mandy Moore. Anyway, he’s a little folky so I think you’ll love him.
Third: I didn’t think you’re senile or old I just couldn’t tell if you were being serious or not. You’re a young spring flower doncha know. Eh? Why did I just go Canada there?
Have fun recuperating! Let me know how culture shock goes for you when you start hanging out with your social group again. My mother had a hard time readjusting. It was entertaining to say the least.
Megkathleen — There are certain things that seem so obvious to me: civil rights, fairness, etc. I don’t understand how those things are not obvious to these kids. Most of these kids wouldn’t even be in school if it weren’t for the sacrifices that others have made for them.
Kazuki — Thanks for the music tip. And tonight I went out with the girls—and was ready for bed by 9:30. I hung out a little longer just to save face but practically fell asleep in the cab on the way home. I definitely have lost my ability to hang. I need to work up a tolerance to fun.
CONGRATS!!! that’s freakin awesome.
Con-frikkin-gratulations!!!! That rocks!! I tip my hat to you....when I did my master’s, the last thing I wanted to do was write the bloody thesis. I took two whole extra classes to avoid it. So your hammering through the ordeal and emerging VICTORIOUS on the other side?!?! IMpressive.
I CRACKED up when I read “Although it was meant as a rebuke, I took it as a compliment.” Because, every now and then, one of the sweet cherubs at Uberschool will—for no apparent reason whatsoever—haul off and call Yours Truly a....bitch.
(*gasp* I know. I have no idea why they do it, either. I’m a veritable pushover.)
And each time? Each and every time? I have to exert unfathomable self-control not to look at the child and say, “No honey. You’ve got it wrong. I am not a bitch. I am “Miss Bitch” to you.”
Instead I just smile my most beatific smile....and do the Tiger Woods Arm Pump!
Congrats!!! And welcome back. Maybe I’ve been slacking cuz you’ve been slacking. Hm.
I remember those renaissance-types at school. Madrigals, yes? Mutton, lmao.
I don’t even know what to do about the kids. Mine are much younger than yours and I am at a loss. I feel the joy of teaching slipping away from me each day…
Maxie — Hey Girl! Thanks for the congrats. Have a bottle of champagne!
Ms. H — Ms. H, I have been sleeping and sleeping and sleeping for the last few days. I knew this was a stressful semester but I had no idea just how much it took out of me. If I ever decide to teach 11 credits again and work on a thesis and blog (although that got put on the backburner a bit), and try to fit in some semblance of a social life, please come to NYC and slap me. I will try the “Ms. Feminist” thing with my students but they probably wouldn’t get it.
jane — Madrigals! That’s it! I was racking my brain trying to figure out what they were called—other than “freaks.” As for teaching, I still love it but I worry about this next generation. I wish I had some sort of Vulcan mind-meld I could use on them.
Congratulations! Do you have to defend your thesis or are you officially finished?
First and foremost: congrats on the thesis completion.
As for the kids, what do you expect? They’ve wasted their afternoons for the last eight years watching Fox News apparently…
YAY, congrats girl. Does this mean I can finally see you in person?
Sad as it is, I think I’m just going to give up on the students. The other day I found a phone in the library and tried to figure out whose it was so I don’t give it to the wrong kid. All I managed to uncover was an IM “conversation” that ended with “I want to suck on those berries”. Umm, not helpful.
flurrious — I thought I responded to your comment earlier with something witty but it’s gone. I guess the blog gremlins decided that it wasn’t witty and to try again. Oh well. Nope, we don’t need to defend the thesis. I know a lot of schools require that but we don’t. It goes through so many readers and each step of the way I have to justify my research, my writing, my ideas so I guess it’s an informal defense.
GH — I blame Faux News for everything that’s wrong with this country. Heck, I blame Faux News for everything—bad weather, crappy endings to otherwise wonderful books, etc.
blakspring — Yes, we can now meet in person instead of casting wistful looks across the internet! Have my blackberry call your blackberry. Speaking of berries...you know, it is the holiday season. Maybe one of the students was making a fruit pie?
Congratulations on finishing your thesis! YAY!!!!!!
You’re like the stealth poster or something. I come and check here every single day and you post nothing and then I skip a day or two and BAM! A new post.
You’re doing it to make me look bad. I just know it.
And SURE, Fine, GREAT, write a whole post about your dinner with you know who and then you meet ME and nothing. Not a peep about it.
I see how it is. Should we have bought you a fancy steak?
Thanks for stopping by so that I could find you. Great post, and looking froward to reading more.
“That they did not volunteer to help with the yearly blood drive had me doubting their commitment to their dark lord.”—hilarious!
Hey, Dingo-
Thanks for taking the wind out of my sails, er, comforting in my time of need (i.e. papercut!! lol)
And how dare you accuse me of looking for ways to not study?! Yes, I do have a sparkling clean kitchen now, and my toenails are painted, and the cats have been played with...but those were necessities, I tell you!!!
Congrats again on the thesis-- I’m too jealous!
Crissy — In case you haven’t noticed, I am several days behind in blogging about all the amazing and fascinating things that happen in my to good to be True Hollywood Story life. Dinner with The Crissys is definitely on the list. As for the steak, I had the osso bucco. I shared it with Ken so maybe I’ll just write about my dinner with him.
Errant Gosling — It’s good to see you. In my innocent and turnip truck days, the vampire chicks were mysterious and slightly scary. If I ran into any of them now, I’d probably pull on their nose rings and then run away. Because while I am more worldly and sophisticated, I’m still a chickenshit and avoid confrontation.
Reagan — I think papercuts and a little bloodletting are great practice for your future as a lawyer. I’ve been trying to clean my kitchen all day. I used the thesis as an excuse last week. I’m using post-thesis malaise as an excuse today.
Dang it. I read this last week and forgot to comment. And now I have nothing clever to say. I’m going to go write Feminist on the blackboard 30 times as punishment.
So glad to have you back! Congrats on the thesis completion...and I sure wish I could have had a chat with the young man about whether or not ANY woman is “asking for it.” Tell that to my daughter, right?
Yay! You’re done. I bet that weight of your shoulders sure does feel good!
I’m slowly becoming addicted to the World Music station on Sky.fm but I do have in my mp3 collection Paul Simon and the Mamas and the Papas. Folk music rocks.
This generation I don’t get either but I don’t want to say that too loud or I’ll start sounding like my grandparents.
Mel Heth — And don’t forget to underline it three times.
Kori — I wanted to reach out and snatch him bald-headed and then just tell him to quite his crying because, “he deserved it.” What’s really sad, Kori, is that there were women in the class who agreed with him.
Toe — The weight off my shoulders feels great. Too bad the lack of exercise has made it settle around my waist.
First, BIG congrats on having the thesis all signed off on!
Secondly, I’m sure the postman/postwoman/*ahem* Postal Employee is savoring all the lovely birthday gifts you were sent. My cousin in CA is sure that her postman is enjoying the bounty from the allegedly delivered packages that never quite find their way to her.
Lastly, my (now)ex-husband was a stay-at-home dad. He just never found his way to getting a job. But he was REALLY good at the Dad thing (not so good at the keepin’-the-house-clean or other househusbandly duties, but the Good Dad thing bought him a lot of years). You cannot fathom how much abuse I got for “letting” him stay home, though.
Thank you, first of all, for the Rockefeller Center picture. My house has been shrouded in darkness and cold for five days now thanks to mother nature, which means among other things no Christmas lights.
Isn’t it funny how every generation of youth thinks they invented youth? The highly opinionated, the vampiresque, the conformity of non-conformity...it’s all been done before, little ones. And we so did it better than you.
MsDarkstar — Hmm… well, I don’t need a husband or childcare but your ex sounds like an excellent housekeeper. Have him send over his references and we’ll talk.
Tress — We did it soo much better than they did. And with better hair, I mean, nuttin’ tops 80s hair.
Hooray for the finished thesis! WOOT!
woohoo!!! You’re done!!! By the way- I love Feist! and Brandi Carlile and Vienna Teng! Funny. Rarely do I hear of other people who KNOW them let alone like them. Anyway- don’t those crazy conservative views just make your head spin? I can’t even fathom some of the 17th century views I hear. Makes me sick.
Woho! It has taken me 2 days but I managed to finally read and comment on your blog post! Things have been crazy and my ADD is taking over the Mac…
I could not agree more with the fact that young people these days (my generation included) are just fine and dandy with the status quo. Just a bunch of close-minded followers if you ask me and I am talking about my own peeps here.
Lara — Thanks, girl!
MsCatalysta — You should try Antigone Rising, Ingrid Michaelson, The Weepies, Joshua Rudin, and Kris Delmhorst.
Talina — They are fine with the status quo as long as it benefits them. On the other hand, many of them have no idea how the status quo hurts them. Complacency, they name is youth.