Rice Wine? Really?
It happens every year. Mr. Dingo’s office does the stupid Secret Santa gift exchange and I run all over the city trying to find something intriguing and unique for him to give. This year he had three (THREE!) Secret Santa gift exchanges. That’s partially my fault. He started out with only one Secret Santa exchange but the gifts I pulled myself away from the Law & Order marathon to find were so cool that other groups in his office asked him to join theirs. By the time we finished shopping for the gift extortion we had only enough money in our bank account to tell family and friends, “Well, maybe next year.”
What’s even worse than exchanging gifts with someone you probably wouldn’t even exchange a greeting with on a normal day is that his gifts? The ones he received? Suck. They suck Yeti balls. Would anyone like a bottle of rice wine? I can’t even re-gift that shit. Hmmm…maybe I’ll use it for a future giveaway. Along with some toe jam and a copy of Weird Al Yankovick’s Greatest Hits. Yes, he actually has a Greatest Hits CD. If you own it, we can no longer be friends.
But friends and relatives be damned, I have gifts for you, Innernetz! Thanks for entering my giveaway for Keri Smith’s The Guerilla Art Kit and Living Out Loud. I actually think I’m going to go buy copies of these for myself. For those of you too lazy humble to link to your own writing, there will be future giveaways and contests. I’m trying to think of something great to giveaway for my blogaversary in February.
I really enjoyed re-reading the posts that my fellow bloggers linked to. You should grab yourself a nice glass of rice wine and curl up with these good reads:
• April at It’s All About Balance wrote about The Power of Negative Thinking for LA Moms.
• Mel Heth from Melissunderstandings, Life According to Mel Heth submitted what I am sure will be in Fox Television’s Spring line-up, When Necklaces Attack.
• New Life In South Dakota’s Kate has a unique take on hair care with It’s Raining Today.
• Ms. Darkstar at Darkstarian Discourse and Diversions somewhere in the frozen tundra is a longtime blogger with a new blog. She submitted The Stupid, It Burns.
• If you needed proof that blakspring is actually female, she provides it with Proof That I May Actually Be Female.
• Fancy pants wearing Meg at Golightly writes about election night bingo and the trauma of not finding “Giant Shit Burger” on the Bingo cards in What A Relief.
• Marjolein at Won’t Let Life Define Me has Random Thoughts While Working At Home.
• Jenny is truly Wonder Woman. She lives in a Cottage on Fox Hollow and submitted an entry about Brain Surgery. I almost felt bad laughing at some of her experiences but I know that she wants to be treated no differently than anyone else. Since I laugh at everyone else, she’s fair game.
• stealthnerd over at Strict Shenaniganist is a Nyquil lightweight. The sniffling, sneezing, blah, blah, blah medicine gives her a Nyquil hangover.
• You know the person in front of you at Subway who places an order for a gabillion people in her office, holding up the line until your lunch hour is over? Ms. H at Molding Young Minds is That Girl. She must be stopped.
• I would love Angst Girl Jules even if her dog Daisy didn’t look like Dingo Girl. I would just have to work harder at it. Just kidding, Jules! In Crisis Averted, Jules writes about Daisy’s Homeland Security experience.
• Mrs. Chili at The Blue Door always makes me think, question, and get off my butt to take action. Her Ten Reasons why she’s an outspoken GBLT advocate/ally is a must read.
• Organic Mama at Life and Times of Organic Mama submitted a post she wrote when her two daughters went away to summer camp in This Thing Called Motherhood. It’s a great post about being a mom but also being yourself. I would love for O’Mama to adopt me but she substitutes maple syrup for sugar. No can do. I bet she uses real maple syrup, too. Perhaps, organic maple syrup and not that overly processed, calorie laden, yet sickeningly sweet Mrs. Butterworth deliciousness.
So, those were the entries. I placed the names in an empty tissue box and with great fanfare (yes, I made my own musical accompaniment) and unnecessary flourish, I drew names. Organic Mama is going to receive Living Out Loud and Marjolein is going to receive a transatlantic package containing The Guerilla Art Kit. Send me your addresses ladies, so I can stalk you I can send you your books. Thanks, Innernetz, for participating!
Happy New Year, Innernetz!
Posted on Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 01:33 AM.
Tags: Contests, Blogging
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Comments & Trackbacks
If your rice wine is not Sake...I would suggest you use it as a cooking wine. Drinking quality rice wine is very difficult to find in North America. Rice wine that is suitable for cooking can be found at Asian supermarkets and groceries. I know, I know… that requires “cooking” which I think we have established is on your list of “not so much”.
Happy New Year, Dingo!
P.S. my captcha made me type “ass” *giggle
I got monkey butt powder in my exchange at work this year-- I’m not even sure what that is!
Yayyyyy!!!! *does a little happy dance* thank you!! Plus, I have some more cool blogs to read while I’m stuck indoors. 
Isn’t rice wine sake? I’ll come there and do sake bombs with you ANYTIME!
I ran out of time and didn’t enter the $5 gift exchange at my new office. Thank God! I think people just re-gifted shit. That’s when you just want to keep your own gift.
MsDarkstar — Rice wine is sake? I had no idea. The bottle says “Bek Se Ju” and 13% alcohol! 13%! I’ll be the one cooked if I drink that!
Maxie — Monkey butt powder is...well...um...okay, I have no idea what that is either. I think you’re supposed to use it to prevent your baby monkey from getting diaper rash. Do you have a baby monkey? Doesn’t that sound like a bad pickup line? Hey, pretty lady, do you have a baby monkey?
Marjolein — Is the happy dance a traditional move in your belly dancing repertoire?
Kristabella — Apparently I’ve been missing out on the sake intake because I’m clueless about the rice wine/sake connection. You will have to come do sake bombs with me. I need to be taught by a true professional.
You know me too well. I really am too humble to link to my own writing.
It’s because I’m awesome.
Congratulations to the winners of the wonderful stuff!
I once threatened to take my sister to a Weird Al concert. Seriously - don’t you think it would be the teensiest bit hilarious? Not so much because he is genuinely funny (although, um, “Eat It” was a laugh of sorts), but because OMG WE ARE AT A WEIRD AL CONCERT. And think of the people-watching, Dingo!
Sigh. A girl can only dream.
Um, I’m a geek. It’s in the geek by-laws that I must enjoy Weird Al. No choice really.
So Happy New Year to you, Dingo. I hope we can still be friends in 2009…
I have the same problem with gift exchanges! This year we gave a couple bottles of two buck chuck and porn - what’s better than that? In return I got some lame wine, which I actually I have since lost. So sad.
There is a Weird Al song I liked...One More Minute.
(Sung to some crappy 50’s Doo-Wop tune)
I’d rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I’d rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, can’t you see what I’m tryin’ to say, Darlin…
I’d rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I’d rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you
Yes, I’d rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I’d rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you
I’d rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it ‘till I die
Than spend one more minute with you
Crissy — It is your humility that first drew me to you. That, and the fact that you flash your ta-tas.
Lara — Fortunately, you have so many other wonderful qualities that outweigh this absurd fascination. Blogging a Weird Al concert would just be too easy.
GH — GeekHiker meet Lara. Lara, GeekHiker. Discuss.
Megkathleen — Two Buck Chuck is awesome! And porn! You are going to be on everyone’s Secret Santa list next year.
MTAE — Pure poetry. Does he do weddings?
Okay, so you have to tell me. You just didn’t want to put dirty words on your blog? Because I like the title of my post better. Hehehehe. It was the FIRST time I ever put anything naughty on my little blog. I was SO proud!
Happy New Year, Dingo!
O’Mama won! YAY for my friend! I bet she’ll share!
Have a fantastic New Year!
Love!
Chili
Rice wine. hahaha.
Happy New Year!!
k8 — What’s funny is that I used the title that was in the link and then when I checked the links to make sure they were working, I re-read the original title and laughed my ass off. But after including almost 32 links in this post, I was done, my eyes were crossing. And k8, you know I have never shied away from putting naughty words in my blog. George Carlin, rest his soul, would be proud.
Mrs. Chili — I don’t know about the sharing part if you keep laughing at the clutztacular year that she’s had.
Summer — Happy New Year, Summer! Here’s to unlimited access to rice wine!
um… can i have the cd? :D
Memarie Lane — I would tell you to put down the champagne because you must be drunk if you could listen to an entire Weird Al CD but I know that you are nursing so no drinky drinky. I can only attribute the slip in otherwise exquisite taste to post-partum regression. You know, when something occurs that makes us act like we’re 17 again?
My co-workers and I organised our own kinda celebration.
We flipped each other the bird.
Cheap and to the point.
Dingo, thank you!! And really, it’s hard NOT to laugh at the clutztacular year I’ve had. Still, 2009 will be the year of NO injury, even if I have to wrap myself in plastic bubbly armor!
I promise you that maple syrup (and totally yeah, the real and organic stuff) is a pretty fantastic baking friend and somehow, I shall prove this to you and laugh upon your subsequent non death or lack of polite smiles and instead, your cop to the deliciousness of it all. Got a Boston trip planned??
Sake and bekseju are two different things. They’re both often called rice wine, but neither one is a true wine. They’re brewed like beer, and have a high alcohol content. Sake is Japanese and bekseju is Korean; bekseju also has various herbs added to it. I don’t really know much about bekseju so I wouldn’t know if you if you got a good bottle or a Korean version of Thunderbird.
Snirk. My captcha is “92 party”. ha ha.
One good thing about being unemployed is that there is no office or staff to have to buy presents for. Whee.
Happy New Year to the Dingo family.
Congrats to the winners. Dingo, it’s been a pleasure getting to know you. Thanks for all the laughs you gave me in ‘08.
I wish you and yours a very happy new year.
Happy New Year, Dingo! I think you should go the gag gift route on these exchanges - much funnier and cheaper!
I had two bottles of cherry bouquet sake last weekend. Good times. At least, I think they were.
Happy New Year.
Kelley — I should have known that you’d come up with a solution to the Secret Santa quandary. I think Mr. Dingo should propose your plan for next year’s gift exchange.
O’Mama — I am going to have to plan a trip to Boston just to have some of the meals you’ve described on your blog. I don’t care what time of year it is, I am laying claim to a huge portion of latkes. I accept your maple syrup challenge, madam. Bring it on.
flurrious — Thank you for the explanation. I think I’m just going to keep it on my liquor cabinet with the bottle of Aquavit we got last year. Maybe I’ll have an international booze tasting in the coming year.
Ree — Happy New Year, Ree! And don’t forget, being unemployed gives you more time to spy on the neighbors!
April — I wish the best for you, Riley, and Sylvia in the coming year. I’ve enjoyed reading about you and your family.
Jen of a2eatwrite — I just know that the year we decide to do gag gifts, everyone else is going to turn up with something spectacular — and you know they’ll forget all the years their gifts sucked and Mr. Dingo’s rocked.
cajunvegan — Cherry bouquet sake? Now that definitely sounds like something I’d like to try!
Thanks for the opportunity to win the books. It’s obvious the contest, along with all the other contests I enter, was rigged. Whatever. 
Happy new year!
Jules — Don’t worry, you’ll win the next one. It’s for bloggers who make gift cards and have cute as can be Shiba Inus named Daisy. You’re a shoo-in.
Conga-Rats ladies! Thank you for the kind words, Dingo! You’re right. I do want to be treated like everyone else. I just happen to have a neat story to tell (that makes some people gag), lol. How did you read me so well? Going to check out some other posts!
Provolone! (that’s how I say goodbye, btw, not what I eat on a grilled cheese)
I just read Maxie’s post and your reply. I’m dyin’ here! ROFLOL
Jenny — From reading your post, my friend, I can tell that you are a scrapper and you live your life without reservation. As for Maxie’s post, I had to know just how ugly the ugly option was. It was an important decision and I needed all the information!
This is what I get for vanishing off the face of the earth...I missed your contest. Damn.
At least I have some new reading material!
I have never had rice wine, but one of my friends brought a bottle of grappa over on New Year’s Eve. I thought it would be great, the way it is romanticized in every single account of Italian life I have ever read. In fact, it is like drinking kerosene.
Happy New Year to you!
Hey girl. Sorry I went MIA. I hope you had a great Holiday. I broke down and got a gym membership.Ruggles says its a cult. They do brainwash you. Must workout everyday, eat right..blah blah blah. I mean for god sakes there are messages in between the music overhead. So I’m trying to be apart of the workout world, yet not submit to their evil ways. I ran 2 miles the other day. Yay!! Starting slow all over again Sucks balls. I hope to get it back to 5 miles. There is a run club apart of the gym… see brainwashed already.. haha Happy running!
What a giver you are - thanks for linking to all of us. There has to be some sort of yummy Japanese recipe that calls for rice wine. Or maybe you could invent one. Drunken sushi balls, anyone?
you had korean rice wine and didn’t bring it on our lunch date? damn girl, you’re holding out on me.
Tress — Grappy is nasty but when in Rome…
Katie — I was wondering where in the hell you were! I was supposed to re-start my running program today but had a bit of a setback. Yes, starting over again definitely sucks balls.
Mel Heth — I’m supposed to go to a Girl’s Night Out at a Korean BBQ place so I’ll take the rice wine and see if it enhances the meal.
blakspring — Oh please, if I’d had brought it with me, we’d have wound up drinking it on a bench in the park. That would not have been pretty.